do not blog while sleepy. or stupid angry.

I am glad i didn't blog this morning. i was soooo mad. Actually i didn't sleep that cause i was mad. So mad that i was actually thinking (at 3 in the morning) of getting out of bed and writing my blog. I think sleepy blogging would have been even worse than drunk blogging. I am not just talking about spelling errors!

Late at night when i can't sleep all my deepest, darkest thoughts seem more real. Probably doesn't happen to other people. Sane people. The ones who are asleep. I wasn't even awake worrying about me to start with. I was angry at other people. Bank people. Money people. People who are screwing over some nice people just to make a buck.

That is why i was saying earlier on twitter that some people never seem to get their karma evened out. They seem to get too much nice stuff in their lives for doing very little that one would associate with good karma. I just isn't fair. Well i guess life never is *sigh*.

So after that i started to think about all the ways i had screwed my OWN life up. Which decisions that seemed harmless at the time actually weren't. i HATE night time thinking. Makes make wish i still drank.

I just want to say two things: (1) i am completely self centered and (2) i love Douglas Adams (still).

I say this because all that worry about another person only seemed to make me worry more about myself. I think this is just wrong. I huge character flaw if you like. Also i was thinking about the HHGTTG quote that goes along the line of people always talking because if they stop their brain will start working. I think this is right. I think it can also be extended to me by including the type of thinking. If i don't stop thinking about complete rubbish then i would have to start thinking about important things.

There is only so much "important things" thinking i can do. Call me shallow. I just have worked so long and hard (up until now, obviously) that i am not sure that i give a shit any more.

....also why i have taken to watching master chef. religiously. i know all the people and their names and everything. it is quote sad.

sooooo glad i didn't blog before. i was also quote upset about the whole Apple thing. There have been enough rants about that so i didn't bother with my 2 cents. I just wrote this instead

*grin*

so much more worthwhile.

i kill me. honestly. i do.