writing a blog while sick in bed...

Today i did one of the most sensible things i have done in a long time. I started to feel unwell yesterday and am having today off. A sick day. Without waiting until i am at deaths door (which usually means i fall over when i try to walk). I feel bad for missing work but better about the fact that i am looking after myself. So sick day. I tried sleeping but the neighbour’s dog keeps howling so i am up and having some brunch (too close to lunch to be breakfast...) and doing some washing and emails. Stuff.

Means i have time to think about the blog for this week. I already know what i want to talk about today. I was thinking about it and now two other people have been talking to me about the same topic. Mid life crisis. I think the term itself sucks because even though i admit i am older now i really don’t fit into the mould of someone my age and with my qualifications.
I have to decide what i want to do. i have three options:

1. Stay as i am right now
2. Get a PhD and see where that leads me
3. Try for something new

I should do number two, am comfortable (and grateful) do be happy if i stuck with number one. What i really want is to go with option three. I have done it three times already. Find something new (and completely different) and make that my life. Having been so ill it makes sense to go with number three (isn’t that what you do when life gives you a second chance?) but i just don’t know if i have the energy to start all over again. Again.

If i were to start over i have been thinking:

· Teach (maybe at university/tafe level)
· Study remote sensing archaeology
· Enrol at art school
· Learn to write
· Get married and have children
· go into the desert and watch the stars.

These are just a few things. New things i would maybe like to try. Maybe not. They are just dreams. The thing is that a lot of my dreams have come true. When i put the effort in. When i start thinking about them seriously instead of just wishing. Wishing is a waste of time.

I would also love to travel. And i really did like field work. I like being around smart people doing things. I like talking. See i just don’t know. I can only say to myself “leave it a bit longer until you get your health back fully” before the time to do anything leaves me. I think.

Usually in my life things just happen. Some weird and wonderful things have happened to be sure. Just now i think i have to start making them happen myself. Or at least start small: learn to drive a car; maybe make a relationship work this time. That kind of thing. The kind of things other people seem to do with no effort at all which i can’t get my head around.

See this is what happens when i get sick. I get all maudlin. If i could taste anything at this point i would go find my secret chocolate stash.

geek and lost scientists

I am a geek. Not exactly proud of it. Well, i just don’t like labels. But i must be:

Have a mini light sabre on my key chain

Just bought a new Spok toy (with detachable hand). It is not a doll. In any form. I didn’t have dolls when i was young enough to have dolls. Ok so i had one barbie doll but in all honesty i use to spend most of my time designing her house. And my sister broke her arm off. Then she cut all the hair off. She never even got in trouble. Bastard.

And i most recently cried when i was watching the Dr Who Ep “End of time”. Where he died. You know the one. Where the time lords had made the master insane....and the dr didn’t want to die. It was just so sad. *sniff*

Plus i like McShep fanfic. That can’t be healthy.

My first degree was a computer one.

Oh yeah. And a quick perusal of my DVD collection shows a lot of scifi. A lot. A scary amount. God, that must have cost me small fortune.

So anyway. Geek. And trying to do science stuff. My wonder i never get laid.

*sigh*

What i wanted to say today is that the great Dr Ian Allison is retiring. They even put it on the tellie (http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2010/s2847711.htm). A fantastic scientist and person. He was the voyage leader during the whole ship/fire thing. That kind of situation tells you all about someone. I know it told me a lot about myself. I had hoped that i would have him read my thesis one day (if it ever get finished!)

Anyway have to go finish my yoghurt so i can go to work. I have to keep reminding myself what can happen when you eat over your key board. I might have to get one of those new keyboards that you can poor water on and nothing happens....i am such a geek *grin*

I had this nightmare

I had this nightmare

It was a bunch of people i know trying to make me do this dance with them. I think we were going to perform it somewhere. I am NOT one of natures dancers. I know. I know. Some of you know i took Irish dancing lessons for 13 years. That does not make me a dancer. At all. Getting back to topic. It was a nightmare because i just couldn’t do it. The steps were too hard. It was awful because they kept telling me i had to.
Somehow i just gave up and left.

Then i went to a bar. I can remember walking down the street. I was with a friend. The first bar was a pub with a naval name. It was very full so we kept walking. I can remember every detail as if it were a memory rather than a dream. Then we found the perfect place. It was nice. A bar guy who looked like that guy from Jonathan Creek, Alan Davies?. Who new that was my type!?

I left with him.

Then there was some creepy house. Then i woke up.

The first part was the nightmare part...the second was confusing. I haven’t had a single drink (not even a liquor chocolate) for several years now. My choice. A good choice for me. No matter how many times i really, really want a drink.

What really freaked me out was the quality of the dream. It was in high def man. And more like a memory than a dream. Maybe all my dreams are like that i just don’t remember them.

When i awoke I checked my alarm clock. It showed 2am. It was NOT 2am. I could tell because there was sunlight streaming through the blind edge (and i swear i did not think “is there a police chopper outside my window?”. Really). It was past my usual waking time by a long way. If i had not had that nightmare i would have over slept.

The moral of the story is that even nightmares have their uses.

How THHGTTG changed my life

Now stay with me as i tell this tale. I am not going to start at the beginning. I will get there in the end. so. Like i said. Bare with me.

I want an E-book reader. I want one really bad. At the moment i am looking at all the models on the market so that i can pick the one i am most comfortable with. I need to like the look and feel. I need to like the LONG battery life. I need to make sure it can read all the formats that i want to download. I don’t think it will be one of the new ipads (i am still snickering about the name) but when they launched it a little while ago that is when i got the burning desire to have one. really badly.

One of my favourite books is The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams). Referred to from now on as THHGTTG. I adore it. I like the story and well, every morsel of it.

My favourite quote. I have no idea why it just is:

Ford: It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
Arthur: What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
Ford: You ask a glass of water.

Yes i do. Now that i come to think about it. It is that fact that the first time i read it i just didn’t get it. The second reading i did. It was when i realised that some books are to be read over and over. They can give you something different to think about every time. They become friends for life.

I am a bit of a fan – i even own a copy of the original radio series. On vinyl. Oh Yeah Baby.
A friend (OK, Mark *sigh* you know it was you) and i were having a discussion about e-books and THHGTTG the other afternoon: what makes you feel that something about the HHGTTG being true now. I think it is having an e-book reader and wiki. I mean the entire wiki “universe” that you periodically update. With entries that are “wildly inaccurate”. Mark thinks this is terrible analogy because the guide had correspondents who were employed and trained rather than being able to be updated by anyone at all. I Still think i have the valid position because some how the wiki vibe or being personal, accurate to a point and about anything and everything (with links) is what it is all about.

So that is my story. Anyway i really want an e-book reader. Gonna wait until i get just the right one to suite me. I still love books. Don’t get me wrong it is not about that at all. It is about something from my childhood coming into being. Something i never thought possible. Perhaps the second. My cell phone (a pink flip phone) IS like a comms device from early StarTrek. That is the reason i bought it and love it and won’t get a new one *grin*.

I am really going to need a little cover for the new e-book reader. I want it to say “Don’t Panic”. Yes. I am that sad.


PS. my fav. study region made it into the news. again. i bet it just confused a lot of people but i don't care: http://www.aad.gov.au/default.asp?casid=37551