I think, deep down, we all like things to stay the same. With small things or gigantic ones. There is comfort in know things are and always will be what they currently are. A rambling statement but there you go. I am in one of those kinds of moods today.
So this blog has been done on the fly and with very little thought. You could ver well ask yourself when have i done it differently? Let me tell you that i always type it up, go have a coffee (i don't drink coffee but you get the idea better), then come back and read it see if it makes sense. Not today. The last couple of days have been like a 8 on my weird-shit-o-meter [which is on a scale of 0 to 10 BTW]. None of it really involving me but as an observer i have had to come to a few conclusions: chiefly that i am not so badly off after all. I might have problems but nothing like what some people have got themselves into.
This got me thinking about why people get so freaked out about climate change. In fact so freaked out that they have to insist that there is no such thing. Contrary to the fact that the entire planet is changing all the time. I am talking both natural (volcano, earth quake etc) and man made (war, politics, home decorating). We just don't like it is all. Well, i know how much i hate it when people touch my stuff and quite frankly that has no consequence other than making me slightly uncomfortable. OK. OK. i take that back. I get extremely irritable because i have OCD. But just because i like things to not change doesn't mean that i am going to deny that they do change.
[I also hate clowns and those people who put all over body paint on themselves and pretend t be statues. But i do love hot cars (just a personal kink) which is weird as i don't have a drivers licence.]
I think that you have to look at things differently when ever things freak you out. To not be afraid all the time of things changing. To do this you need information. Well, i think you need information - you get some kind of control back from knowledge. That is why the study of climate change is necessary. If you are aware of what can happen and then what you (in a general sense) can do about it then it is not so scary.
See, rambling today. I really need to go buy some new pillows today. damn. see. i just can't seem to hold my thoughts together. I blame that massive reading attack from a few days ago. I tried to get my holiday reading finished. All i did was read so much my eyes hurt and i got insomnia.
Anyway. I just hope that i can get some stuff written today. Still haven't got my basil melt stuff sorted. i'll tell you about it one day.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
An odd blog all about Australia day
Next week, on Tuesday January 26th to be precise, is Australia Day.
In my very humble opinion this is a strange holiday. People love it, hate it, are indifferent to it or a mixture of all three (like Taswegian weather often all on the same day).
This wasn’t what i intended to write about today. I have been looking at basal melting (which even i realise is a topic of limited interest). I have also been less than impressed with emergency relief efforts to Haiti. Not to mention i feel pretty strongly about all the young people getting killed on our roads. It is just that i had some comments directed my way email/facebook/twitter. It really got me thinking about how strongly people feel about this national holiday.
[ For info try: http://www.australiaday.org.au/experience/
and the only truly democratic source of information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day ]
I am not going to list here the pros and cons. Nor am i even going to detail anything at all about the history or back story. I do not wish to delve into Australian history about settlement, invasion, immigration. Like most aspects of history it all depends on your point of view and i find that limiting. I do like to read history, don’t get me wrong. I just prefer to make sure i read from differing perspectives.
Considering how little i put into celebrating Christmas, Easter, Valentines day or even my own birthday you can probably imagine how much effort i am willing to put into this event. I will say that i quite like the Queens birthday long weekend. Which we celebrate not on the queens birthday. I think this is because it is for a different queen than the current one. I could be wrong. I just can’t be bothered to google it. But i do like the long weekend holiday that it offers. Just call me shallow.
What i do think is that Australia day is what you decide to make it.
Perhaps that is what the day should mean. A time for reflection about this country. Or not, if you prefer. A time for thinking about where it has come from and where we would all like it to go. If all it turns out for you is that you appreciate your life with a BBQ with friends than that is fine. If you wish to protest about some aspect of current policy and behaviour then i think you should also do that.
For me Jan 26th is when my Nanna passed away 25 years ago. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. Not really the reason i am probably ambivalent about the day. Probably doesn’t help though. I always feel disinclined to celebrate when some members in the community can’t or won’t celebrate.
It is just a date. For some a good day for others not so much. For many valid reasons. What i do know is that i have been trying to talk my father out of putting up a flag pole in the front yard. He is not doing it out of patriotism more likely just to annoy the council. You are suppose to get a permit or something to put one up but he thinks it should be his right to put a flag pole up without asking anyone. You can just imagine the joy he is going to bring to the rest of us this Australia day. Kind of like my sister and the whole “i am not going to pay the council money so i can water my garden, they don’t own the rain!”. Which it turns out, after several notices, she did have to pay.
Besides, who has a public holiday on a Tuesday?
In my very humble opinion this is a strange holiday. People love it, hate it, are indifferent to it or a mixture of all three (like Taswegian weather often all on the same day).
This wasn’t what i intended to write about today. I have been looking at basal melting (which even i realise is a topic of limited interest). I have also been less than impressed with emergency relief efforts to Haiti. Not to mention i feel pretty strongly about all the young people getting killed on our roads. It is just that i had some comments directed my way email/facebook/twitter. It really got me thinking about how strongly people feel about this national holiday.
[ For info try: http://www.australiaday.org.au/experience/
and the only truly democratic source of information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day ]
I am not going to list here the pros and cons. Nor am i even going to detail anything at all about the history or back story. I do not wish to delve into Australian history about settlement, invasion, immigration. Like most aspects of history it all depends on your point of view and i find that limiting. I do like to read history, don’t get me wrong. I just prefer to make sure i read from differing perspectives.
Considering how little i put into celebrating Christmas, Easter, Valentines day or even my own birthday you can probably imagine how much effort i am willing to put into this event. I will say that i quite like the Queens birthday long weekend. Which we celebrate not on the queens birthday. I think this is because it is for a different queen than the current one. I could be wrong. I just can’t be bothered to google it. But i do like the long weekend holiday that it offers. Just call me shallow.
What i do think is that Australia day is what you decide to make it.
Perhaps that is what the day should mean. A time for reflection about this country. Or not, if you prefer. A time for thinking about where it has come from and where we would all like it to go. If all it turns out for you is that you appreciate your life with a BBQ with friends than that is fine. If you wish to protest about some aspect of current policy and behaviour then i think you should also do that.
For me Jan 26th is when my Nanna passed away 25 years ago. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. Not really the reason i am probably ambivalent about the day. Probably doesn’t help though. I always feel disinclined to celebrate when some members in the community can’t or won’t celebrate.
It is just a date. For some a good day for others not so much. For many valid reasons. What i do know is that i have been trying to talk my father out of putting up a flag pole in the front yard. He is not doing it out of patriotism more likely just to annoy the council. You are suppose to get a permit or something to put one up but he thinks it should be his right to put a flag pole up without asking anyone. You can just imagine the joy he is going to bring to the rest of us this Australia day. Kind of like my sister and the whole “i am not going to pay the council money so i can water my garden, they don’t own the rain!”. Which it turns out, after several notices, she did have to pay.
Besides, who has a public holiday on a Tuesday?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
An adventure when not writing
This arvo i was in the car with my father. He took me into the city so i could spend some birthday money. When i say money i mean pre-paid debit card like thing. Like gift vouchers but more high tech. I have a friend who use to run her own business and she use to have written gift vouchers. They worked just fine. But it is the modern age and so you just have to suck it up and move forward. Even if it seems like a lot of waste because, while paper is eventually degradable or the very least recyclable, no one has offered a recycling system for used plastic debit cards.
I seem to have got slightly off track. I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry. What i wanted to talk about really was the conversation we had in the car on the drive home. It started innocently enough when i got back in the car. I thought there were a lot of cars about. So i said something dull like “gee, there are a lot of cars about”. He replied that he also thought this and he had seen more men in suites and little kids in pretty party clothes than you would expect. We kept thinking about this as we went to leave the car park. The car park is over the road from some churches. In fact two churches, both large, both of slightly different dispositions.
From our independent and intrepid sleuthing this led us both to deduce that a wedding was on. Well, it is summer and a Saturday. Which is when i would have a wedding. If i were ever to have one. Though not in a church, obviously. A winery perhaps. Or the museum. Somewhere that means people would have something else to do and to look at besides me. I seem to have wandered off track again. Sorry. Anyway it was this summation which was quite innocuous that turned a normal half-hearted, dull conversation into so much more. It happens when you least expect it.
I said without thinking “...can you just imagine me walking down a church aisle in a wedding dress, probably involving lace or something...?”
I was laughing to myself ‘cause really it is not something even i can imagine myself doing. Things got a little “tense” with my father’s reply”
“well i can’t really imagine you finding a man who would want to....”
And then even he paused. He was about to say “...walk down the aisle with you”. Wasn’t he.
The bastard.
It is a sad, sad day when even your own father finds it difficult to imagine anyone wanting to marry you.
Anyway i have got over it now. I do have a lovely new dress (heavily reduced) and silver bracelet (because the dress was so incredibly reduced) thanks to my sister giving me a debit card thingy. I look good in it too. Even if i am destined to have no man to look at me in it!
Not that i am in any way bitter.
*grin*
I seem to have got slightly off track. I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry. What i wanted to talk about really was the conversation we had in the car on the drive home. It started innocently enough when i got back in the car. I thought there were a lot of cars about. So i said something dull like “gee, there are a lot of cars about”. He replied that he also thought this and he had seen more men in suites and little kids in pretty party clothes than you would expect. We kept thinking about this as we went to leave the car park. The car park is over the road from some churches. In fact two churches, both large, both of slightly different dispositions.
From our independent and intrepid sleuthing this led us both to deduce that a wedding was on. Well, it is summer and a Saturday. Which is when i would have a wedding. If i were ever to have one. Though not in a church, obviously. A winery perhaps. Or the museum. Somewhere that means people would have something else to do and to look at besides me. I seem to have wandered off track again. Sorry. Anyway it was this summation which was quite innocuous that turned a normal half-hearted, dull conversation into so much more. It happens when you least expect it.
I said without thinking “...can you just imagine me walking down a church aisle in a wedding dress, probably involving lace or something...?”
I was laughing to myself ‘cause really it is not something even i can imagine myself doing. Things got a little “tense” with my father’s reply”
“well i can’t really imagine you finding a man who would want to....”
And then even he paused. He was about to say “...walk down the aisle with you”. Wasn’t he.
The bastard.
It is a sad, sad day when even your own father finds it difficult to imagine anyone wanting to marry you.
Anyway i have got over it now. I do have a lovely new dress (heavily reduced) and silver bracelet (because the dress was so incredibly reduced) thanks to my sister giving me a debit card thingy. I look good in it too. Even if i am destined to have no man to look at me in it!
Not that i am in any way bitter.
*grin*
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Getting confused with old age
Firstly an excellent little article (NASA) about Antarctic ice shelf melting: http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/20100108_Is_Antarctica_Melting.html
Now, onto what i have been thinking about this morning. Well i have had a lot to think about as it was “shot” day. Every three months i have to have my medicine and lucky me gets it in cold, hard needle form *grin*. Also, the nurse thinks my appendix is playing up....so something new to look out for then!
This morning (before the doctor visit) I was when it will happen. The day i start to get confused about things. I don’t mean just forgetting a name or address or even what i walked into the room for. I mean really confused about the world around me.
The other day my dad made one of those big confused messes in our household. He was in his study when he yelled out “you guys Dr who is on the telly”
We all love Dr Who. So there was a mad dash. It is not Dr Who. It is in fact Dr Phil. I myself can see how he got confused. They both have the prefix of Dr. Other than one being and American talk show person and the other being a fictional British sci-fi show it is easy to see how he got confused.
He really didn’t seem to understand why the kids got a little mad at him. They were playing Wii bowling at the time. No one likes to be interrupted when a game is on. Especially when the stakes are high [you win you get M&Ms or cookies or M&M cookies].
Takes me back to before xmas when mum bought little Mitch some lego. Star trek lego. I was worried ‘cause he doesn’t like star trek. He does like star wars though. Very much. And no mum, they are not the same thing. Turns out that she got it all wrong and it was actually star wars lego (ewoks battle thing). It was awesome. We spent hours watching his sister put it together (i had better things to do than put lego together)...and then he would offer a suggestion and she would scream her head off and storm out. Well she is 11. That’s what you’re supposed to do.
I only bring these tales up because tomorrow is my birthday. I am getting old now. I don’t feel old mentally (physically is a different matter). In fact i have only just started to not think to myself “your to young to have a husband, kids and a mortgage” when people ask when i am going to get married! I realised the other day that i would have “young adults” as kids if i had stared breeding like the rest of the (extended) family. I think my family just think i am gay. I have tried to point out that being gay doesn’t mean you can’ also have children but that just gets me nowhere. Fast.
I hope it all goes well for me. My birthday. I plan to do as little as possible and try to pretend it is not happening. And go to the cinema. I lot of bad things have happened on my previous birthdays. Some more amusing than others. I will just be happy if....well i don’t know what but i seriously want nothing bad to happen. this time.
Back to figuring out some notes!
Now, onto what i have been thinking about this morning. Well i have had a lot to think about as it was “shot” day. Every three months i have to have my medicine and lucky me gets it in cold, hard needle form *grin*. Also, the nurse thinks my appendix is playing up....so something new to look out for then!
This morning (before the doctor visit) I was when it will happen. The day i start to get confused about things. I don’t mean just forgetting a name or address or even what i walked into the room for. I mean really confused about the world around me.
The other day my dad made one of those big confused messes in our household. He was in his study when he yelled out “you guys Dr who is on the telly”
We all love Dr Who. So there was a mad dash. It is not Dr Who. It is in fact Dr Phil. I myself can see how he got confused. They both have the prefix of Dr. Other than one being and American talk show person and the other being a fictional British sci-fi show it is easy to see how he got confused.
He really didn’t seem to understand why the kids got a little mad at him. They were playing Wii bowling at the time. No one likes to be interrupted when a game is on. Especially when the stakes are high [you win you get M&Ms or cookies or M&M cookies].
Takes me back to before xmas when mum bought little Mitch some lego. Star trek lego. I was worried ‘cause he doesn’t like star trek. He does like star wars though. Very much. And no mum, they are not the same thing. Turns out that she got it all wrong and it was actually star wars lego (ewoks battle thing). It was awesome. We spent hours watching his sister put it together (i had better things to do than put lego together)...and then he would offer a suggestion and she would scream her head off and storm out. Well she is 11. That’s what you’re supposed to do.
I only bring these tales up because tomorrow is my birthday. I am getting old now. I don’t feel old mentally (physically is a different matter). In fact i have only just started to not think to myself “your to young to have a husband, kids and a mortgage” when people ask when i am going to get married! I realised the other day that i would have “young adults” as kids if i had stared breeding like the rest of the (extended) family. I think my family just think i am gay. I have tried to point out that being gay doesn’t mean you can’ also have children but that just gets me nowhere. Fast.
I hope it all goes well for me. My birthday. I plan to do as little as possible and try to pretend it is not happening. And go to the cinema. I lot of bad things have happened on my previous birthdays. Some more amusing than others. I will just be happy if....well i don’t know what but i seriously want nothing bad to happen. this time.
Back to figuring out some notes!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
on manners, polynyas and a new TV
It has been a trying week. For both me and others i might add. For me because I have been trying to get some stuff written. I didn't really care what stuff but anything would have been good. For others because i have been very grumpy and cross and not inclined to use my manners.
I think manners are very important. They cost you nothing to use. This morning a nice young man (i get to say that now that i am old) held a door open for me. I just thought it was very sweet of him. He was obviously brought up right.
This week i lost mine. I was just rude. I could blame the fact that i have been ill and stressed but still it is no excuse to bring pain into the life of another person.
I have been very busy trying to figure out the best way to express some concepts. Some things make perfect sense to me but would make no sense to others...and then you have to ask yourself what the point of the whole exercise is!
I also have images like this one:
I can easily explain this image (the different wind and ice dynamics/processes) in probably a paragraph or two but it is a bit tricky when you have thousands of images. And then you get the computer to do all the analysis for you...which you have to explain. This is why the pay me the absolutely no bucks!!!
Don't get me wrong i LOVE the coding part more than anything. In fact it is the the best part for me (problem solving). I am just the worst writer on the planet. I am so bad that i am thinking of going back to uni and getting some kind training (notice i didn't say qualification? that's cause you have to be able to do something to be called qualified).
So aside from fretting over this work i have been trying to think of some new direction to take my life. Not very successfully i might add.
So aside from trying to get my life together and get well again i bought myself a new tv. One of those new fangled ones. Which i screwed up. I always screw up. Wish i had a man in my life to read all those technical magazines [which i can't be arsed doing] and tell me what to do. I can't believe i just said that but sometimes it is true [for me]. *sigh*
The tv thing was fun. It was fun because after setting it all up (an hour) it would not go. At all. After everyone i asked stopped saying "did you press the on switch?", like i was a complete moron, i took it back to the store. The man who sold it to me chuckled at me first no doubt thinking to himself "i bet she just didn't turn it on". He fiddled with it. It was broken. Seriously, what are the odds that a new tv out of the box would be broken? So i got another one and had to come home and put that one together. Then i needed new cables because i broke the others [don't want to talk about it]. Then it turns out the people running the transceiver station have been doing upgrades which i am guessin' is not going well cause the channels keep disappearing and reappearing [which i thought was my doing for oh, like an hour].
See. I can make even the most mundane activity more complicated and annoying than it needs to be.
Fine picture quality though. Really enjoyed watching Torchwood on it last night.
Better get back to trying to get the voice recognition software working (i bet you can guess how that job is going).
Monday, January 4, 2010
a new year blog
for the first time my horoscope is right! it had to happen eventually right? I mean, one day by shear coincidence it had to get it right? My mum reads them to me every week. hers is often right. I guess that you look hard enough they are always right. Mine never is. In fact i would go so far as to say that what is written is in fact what is guaranteed to NOT in fact happen at all. Not even a little bit.
this is what it says:
"If you have less energy than usual and you can't seem to get going on your latest round of projects, you may need to spend some time alone. If you managed this over the holiday break, you're probably feeling a lot better. If not, then think about it for real right now. If you can do this, you'll feel your energy return along with your joie de vivre. Mars is retrograde in your love affairs zone, bringing you a chance to reminisce and think about the old times. You even decide to get in touch with someone! "
i have my doubts about the last little bit. i don't get in touch with people. I don't like to be rude or intrude in other peoples lives [maybe because so many people intrude into mine and i don't really like it. i am a very private person. even though i talk to much. it is mostly rubbish]. I absolutely HATE the phone. those of you who know me have i ever rung you up? no? really?? see that's because i don't like it. what i don't like is not knowing if i am causing you to be late or not do something. or something like that. if i were going to ring i would probably send an email first and ask if it is ok. I don't mind people ringing me. so don't think that you have to stop yourself from ringing me....always happy to chat to you. really i do [no sarcasm at all].
this blog is probably a little weird. well i have been in bed asleep for the last four days and only dragged myself to the dr this morning cause i had to. so now that i am up i thought i better check emails (well, delete emails is more accurate), check some web sites and blogs i follow and also do my own blog.
I have not been writing at all (well i couldn't be arsed to tell the truth). I haven't been doing anything at all. I missed New Years Eve. I keep signing things the wrong year. i will probably do that for a month or so.
As an OCD sufferer you have no idea have long it took to train myself into not caring what the date was!
Now i am going to finish tidying my desk. write a dvd/book shopping list and go have a little nap. i like naps. that's cause i am getting old.
I might also think about an old romance or two. This will only depress me more than words can say *sigh* . I should have not listened to my elders when i was young....just about everything turned out to be a lie *double sigh*
usually i would say sorry this blog has been so flimsy... but not today.
Happy new year
this is what it says:
"If you have less energy than usual and you can't seem to get going on your latest round of projects, you may need to spend some time alone. If you managed this over the holiday break, you're probably feeling a lot better. If not, then think about it for real right now. If you can do this, you'll feel your energy return along with your joie de vivre. Mars is retrograde in your love affairs zone, bringing you a chance to reminisce and think about the old times. You even decide to get in touch with someone! "
i have my doubts about the last little bit. i don't get in touch with people. I don't like to be rude or intrude in other peoples lives [maybe because so many people intrude into mine and i don't really like it. i am a very private person. even though i talk to much. it is mostly rubbish]. I absolutely HATE the phone. those of you who know me have i ever rung you up? no? really?? see that's because i don't like it. what i don't like is not knowing if i am causing you to be late or not do something. or something like that. if i were going to ring i would probably send an email first and ask if it is ok. I don't mind people ringing me. so don't think that you have to stop yourself from ringing me....always happy to chat to you. really i do [no sarcasm at all].
this blog is probably a little weird. well i have been in bed asleep for the last four days and only dragged myself to the dr this morning cause i had to. so now that i am up i thought i better check emails (well, delete emails is more accurate), check some web sites and blogs i follow and also do my own blog.
I have not been writing at all (well i couldn't be arsed to tell the truth). I haven't been doing anything at all. I missed New Years Eve. I keep signing things the wrong year. i will probably do that for a month or so.
As an OCD sufferer you have no idea have long it took to train myself into not caring what the date was!
Now i am going to finish tidying my desk. write a dvd/book shopping list and go have a little nap. i like naps. that's cause i am getting old.
I might also think about an old romance or two. This will only depress me more than words can say *sigh* . I should have not listened to my elders when i was young....just about everything turned out to be a lie *double sigh*
usually i would say sorry this blog has been so flimsy... but not today.
Happy new year
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